Skip to content

If You Want to Move Forward, and Let Go of Your Past, You Must Be Ready to Feel Some Pain.

This post is part of The Awakened Heart Project

Week 10: If You Want to Move Forward, and Let Go of Your Past, You Must Be Ready to Feel Some Pain.:

“As human beings, we all want to be happy and free from misery… we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness.” –Dalai Lama

Brace Yourself for Pain 

I think it’s important to repeat some important themes from last week: We all have internal work to do.  It’s inevitable that we all have baggage from our past that we’ve never bothered to open and sort through. We’ve pacified it with a band-aid and have worked quite hard to forget it. But it hasn’t worked. It’s just changed shape into the form of a tiny little metaphorical “twig”. Just like the elephant, there are “twigs” holding each of us back. The pain from our past often holds us hostage…Face it,  -we ALL have these “twigs” whether we like it or not. And the only way to realize that it’s just a twig and that you can walk away from it, is to accept the fact that the twig exists, and pull that band-aid off and to realize that this little twig can be dealt with (with some work of course), and removed. In order to see the path to what you want, you must first see what is holding you back! It is then, and only then, that you can start moving forward.

And with that, IF YOU WANT TO MOVE FORWARD, AND LET GO OF YOUR PAST, YOU MUST BE READY TO FEEL SOME PAIN!

8614-there-are-wounds-that-never-show-on-the-body-that-are-deeper_380x280_width

I know, what you’re thinking, “But band-aids help heal! If I rip it off now I could open that wound!” Actually, these “band-aids” aren’t really band-aids. They’re metaphorical band-aids. In reality, these “band-aids” are actually just concealers, camouflage, a façade, a mask, or blinders. Putting a band-aid on an emotional wound will not heal it; it will only cause it move further inward to a place that’s harder for you to reach, but it will undoubtedly continue to cause you pain. You may not understand Read more

Advertisements

In Order to See the Path to What You Want, You Must First See What is Hold You Back.

This post is part of The Awakened Heart Project

Week 9: In Order to See the Path to What You Want, You Must First See What is Hold You Back.

 

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.”  -C. JoyBell C.

You Gotta Move Forward, But First…

See what’s’ holding me back? What do you mean? I know EXACTLY what I want, and what path to take, but everyone else is getting in the way. I’m not the problem, everything and everyone else is!

Really? I’m sorry to break it to you, but I highly doubt that everyone else is the problem, and you have nothing to do with YOUR OWN PROBLEM. Yes, sometimes there’s some red tape in your way. And yes, sometimes, people in positions higher than you can deter your progress up the latter of growth (for instance in work situations). However, if you REALLY want to grow, and REALLY want to move forward, why are you still letting these people or things get in your way? Take a minute and really think about it. You can’t control how other people or things pan out, only how you do. If you want things to be different you have to change. Sometimes, that means quitting your job to pursue your passions. Sometimes that means taking the road less traveled. But you always have the choice to say, “No, I will not take this anymore, I want better for myself, and I know I deserve better, so SEE YOU LATER friend!”

When you get into the pattern of saying (and believing) that you are not the problem and your external circumstances are, you get into the pattern of allowing everything and everyone else to control you. When you believe that you have options, and you control your own destiny, that is when you break free from the perceived barriers that are holding you back.

We all have things within ourselves that are holding us back, -some of them small, some of them large. But the real problem is not that these things exist, it’s that most people aren’t self-aware enough to even know they exist. Read more

Stop Being What People Want You to Be, and Start Being Who You Really Are!

This post is part of  The Awakened Heart Project

Week 8: If you keep doing what you’ve always been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always been getting.

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” ~E.E. Cummings, 1955

Being Who You Are Can Be Hard

In this world of crazy competition and competiveness, it’s often difficult to ignore the pressure. It seems that even in early childhood we’re being pushed to “be better” to “do better” and to be “the best”. We’re graded from A-F, where F literally stands for “failure”. It’s a vast contradiction from the lesson that there are no such things as failures, just learning opportunities. We also have numerous tests to past, and major ones at that, such as the ACT and SAT, which can truly make or break a college experience. When we enter to workforce and “adult life” there’s so much focus on what job you have, where you work, what clothes you wear, what labels you have in your closet, what you know, etc. Social media allows us to share things in different ways as well, but no matter what, whether we like it or not, nowadays, we’re constantly in the public eye and therefore being judge. How difficult. What a lot of pressure that is!!

Sadly, with that pressure, you might start to pretend you’re Read more

If You Keep Doing What You’ve Always Been Doing, You’ll Keep Getting What You’ve Always Been Getting.

This post is part of The Awakened Heart Project

Week 7: If you keep doing what you’ve always been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always been getting.

“There are three kinds of people; those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.”
-Nicholas Butler Murray

 

 Jump Start Changes, Jump Start Life

Often we try to control when changes come to us, so we can be ready and there will be no fear involved. We want our circumstances to be “just right”. We want change to come when we most expect it and then we’ll be prepared; we’ll be in control! Ha! Yeah right! Seriously, life rarely works that way. Some of us even avoid it at all costs and simply wait for life changes anxiously. Why start something so scary by choice, right? Well, if you’re sick of your circumstances, and tired of the way things are going currently, you CAN’T JUST WAIT.

How many times have you wished things would be different but then you did nothing about it? How many times have you said, “I hate this job” but continue to go to work every day never looking for a new job? Often, our reluctance for changing our circumstances is not due to not knowing what we really want to change, but rather, fearing that Read more

With Fear Comes the Door to Freedom

This post is part of The Awakened Heart Project

Week 6: With Fear Comes the Door to Freedom

“A man that flies from his fear may find that he has only taken a short cut to meet it.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien

Read more

The Only Thing Constant in Life is Change

This post is part of The Awakened Heart Project

Week 5: The Only Thing Constant in Life is Change

“Some changes look negative on the surface, but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”

–Eckhart Tolle

 

Change is Inevitable

It’s simply inevitable. Change is something that will happen no matter how hard we try to stop it. Change is a part of the world we live in. With every passing moment, things change. So why fight it?

Sometimes, the changes that take place in our lives are slow, and sometimes even anticipated. While other times, the changes are abrupt. Abrupt changes can throw us into a place of fear and uncertainty. This place may be a place of darkness. Even anticipated changes may make us feel fear or anxiety for what’s to come. Moreover, changes (even anticipated ones) don’t always produce an outcome that we favor. For instance, ending a relationship: even if you were the one that ended it, it doesn’t always feel great; you may still have a period of great sadness and maybe even depression. Or, lets say, losing your job: you needed that job; without it you can’t pay your bills, and so, clouds of darkness begin to shadow you’re life. Read more

Lungleavin Day: A Celebration of Life and Facing Your Fears

This week, I was approached by an amazing woman, Heather Von St. James, and asked to write a small post to help spread the word about Lungleavin Day, a holiday she created after suffering from Mesothelioma. Actually, Heather asked if I would write a post about inspiration and link to her article about Lungleavin Day, but frankly, writing about Heather, her battle with cancer, and the message behind Lungleavin Day is inspiration in itself.

For those of you who are not aware, Mesothelioma is a rare type of cancer caused by asbestos exposure, which kills 90-95% of those who are diagnosed with it. Heather was diagnosed 7 years ago, when her daughter was only 3 ½ months old. I can only image the fear that must of struck Heather at this point in her life. But after reading her story, it’s clear that her strength far out weighed her fears. Today, Heather is cancer free and is using her experience in a positive way to help others. One of the ways Heather spreads her positivity, and strength is through Lungleavin Day. Read more

Some Things Are Not Meant To Be. Some People Are Not Meant To Be. Sometimes, What Once Was, -Is No Longer

This post is part of The Awakened Heart Project

Week 4: Some Things Are Not Meant To Be. Some People Are Not Meant To Be. Sometimes, What Once Was, -Is No Longer. to Respond

“Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts … good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with.”

-Michelle Obama

Life and Opportunity 

You have so many countless opportunities throughout your lifetime, and you’ll meet so many different people throughout your lifetime as well. Some of these people will come into you life and stay forever. Others will barely leave an impression. Some will stay awhile and leave you behind, leaving you feeling saddened and empty. Others’ you will have to make the same decision about. Opportunities too, have a way of coming and going. Sometimes, the things we want (and people) aren’t meant to be. We try desperately to make some of these relationships and opportunities work out, but sometimes it’s just not mean to be. The sooner you realize that everything in this life has a phase, -some longer than others, the sooner you will find peace with the present, and Read more

Happiness Has Little to Do With What Happens to You. It Has Everything to Do With How You Choose to Respond


This post is part of The Awakened Heart Project

Week 3: Happiness Has Little to do With What Happens to You. It Has Everything to do With How You Choose to Respond

 “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”

-Wayne Dyer

Emotional Responses and Life Decisions

It’s inevitable: Life will throw you some curve balls. But YOU and YOU ALONE choose the emotional response you will have to these situations.  No one makes you feel a certain way, or makes you react a certain way. That is all up to you.

For instance, Read more

Out of Your Vulnerabilities Will Come Your Strength: Where there’s pain, there’s growth

This post is part of The Awakened Heart Project

Week 2: Out of Your Vulnerabilities Will Come Your Strength: Where there’s pain, there’s growth

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.”

Andy Rooney

Pain Exists. Life can hurt. And sometimes, life can hurt A LOT. But this pain is for your benefit.

How many times have your heard it, “Life is not fair”. It’s true. Life is often unfair. We often get the shaft. Good people sometimes find themselves in bad situations, and painful experiences. While others, who you may believe live horrible lives always seem to get the “best possible scenario” in life. Don’t worry, karma has a way of working things out, sometimes you just have to be patient. Now don’t take that the wrong way, I’m not saying go ahead and resent people or wish bad things upon them. That’s wasted energy (and bad karma). Rather, don’t waste your energy, because the universe will take care of them.  You have more important things to do with your life.

Let face it, sometimes, life is PAINFUL! Sometimes, it hurts so much, you feel as though you can’t go on.  Perhaps you’ve even had a few nights where you’ve cried your eyes shut (I know I have). You may think, “Why? Why? WHHHYYYY???!!” Read more

30 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself to Improve Your Life

Last year I reblogged the article, 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself . You may or may not have had the opportunity to read it, which is why I am posting it again. Even if you did read it, chances are it’s time for a refresher, and there’s no better time then the New Year. We’re all looking for inspiration, for change, for new beginnings; anything to help us keep up with our New Years resolutions! I hope you find it inspiring, helpful, and pushes you towards the direction of personal growth. Enjoy: )

Things that will make you happy

__________________________________________________________

Mark angel

Photo by Rob Brucker

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1.  Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends. Read more

The Story of the Lotus Flower

This post is part of The Awakened Heart Project

Week 1: The Story of the Lotus Flower

Given that The Awakened Heart Project is about helping you release your fears, to grow, to discover, to learn and to awaken, the story of the lotus flower and its symbolism seems like the perfect place to start this journey.

The lotus flower is a beautiful flower that can be found all over the world. But the start of this flowers life is not as beautiful is one might image. It’s unlike many other flowers. When the lotus first begins to sprout, it is under water, making its home in lakes and ponds in areas where the water remains fairly still on the surface. But underneath the surface, the lotus is surrounded by mud and muck and by fish, by insects, and simply dirty, rough conditions

With an open heart. Lotus

Despite these conditions, Read more

Weekly Photo Challenge: Delicate

There are so many different interpretations of “delicate”. It seems impossible to even include the best ideas of this term in just one post. The first thing I thought of when reading The Daily Post, Weekly Photo Challenge was: a child. But since this was already alluded to in the challenge post itself, I decided to go in a different direction.

The next few things that came to mind were: flower petals, bubbles (which I love playing with, with the children I care for), and animal life. For instance, a tiny turtle I saw this past summer while running and a picture I took of a caterpillar that same day. Also, how tiny my kitten was when we decided to take him in after his mother abandoned him in our shed. He was just  4 weeks old  and weighed just 400 grams (YES! Be bottle fed that little fluff). So, for this post, “delicate” are things that are tiny, soft, and easily destroyed items; and with the exception of bubbles, need nurturing in order to survive. I hope you enjoy them!!

IMG_4459

with an open heart. vulnerability. photography

Tiny kitten

with an open heart.

Delicate Baby Kitten

With an Open Heart blog. Delicate

With an Open Heart blog

Magdon the mouse cat

With an Open Heart blog.

With an open heart blog

With an Open Heart Blog

with an open heart blog

Nina Shadi Signature Length

Where There is Heart, There is Plenty…

Consider your actions of today or this week? Do you do the kinds of things that come from the heart? Many of us, do things for others, but only feel resentful afterwards. But what if we only did things from the heart? Or better yet, did the things for others we don’t want to but never feel resentful. Think about it for a moment. What if you stopped choosing resentment and simply did things because you felt it was right, and you wanted to? I’m not saying, stop doing things for others if you don’t want to (although that is your choice and I do believe in freewill), I’m saying, do these things, but instead of negative thoughts and feelings, feel joy, pleasure, and happiness. You likely made a Read more

When Disappointment Turns to Resentment and How You Can Change It.

It’s the time of year when gift giving is all around us. Most of us are participating in these festivities one way or another. Some of us like the element of surprise when we receive a gift, while others find it easier to provide friends and family with a list of items they wish to receive. Either way, there’s an open window for disappointment during this season….that is, if you let there be.

The following post discusses how our expectations have the power to leave us feeling disappointed and resentful if we do not feel the gifts we receive are  “special enough”. This post does not specifically discuss gift during this holiday season, but it seems just as important. Remember, gifts aren’t always material either. So, spend a minute reflecting on different types of gifts others Read more

Cultivating Your Garden of Happiness

Have you ever thought about how complex and detailed your brain is? Or how many processes your brain go through on a given day, or hour, or millisecond? It’s infinite. The brain is much like a computer that never sleeps. It seems simple on the outside, but inside it makes up our bodies largest organ consisting of some 100 billion nerve cells that control every aspect of our conscious and unconscious body processes. But, if you think all of this happens without any conscious help on your side, you’re mistaken.

with an open heart blog

Think of your brain like a garden. It needs to be tended to. It takes work, commitment and maintenance. If you want it to flourish, you need to water it, to feed it some sunshine, some fresh wonderful air, and even some healthy nutrients too. Not to mention, you need to get rid of those weeds! And not just on the surface; rip those weeds up from the root! Or what? They’ll grow back and they’ll spread (damn you weeds). Yes, your mind is a bit more complicated than just a garden, but it still needs the same kind of tender love and care. Read more